The Horrible Mess
happy hours, funerals, and soiled mattresses
Monday, December 18, 2006
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Live Action Mario Skit
Robotic Mule: a creature of grace and beauty
Ok, if I had one of these here is what I'd do:
- Build a variety of heads to represent different emotions
- Take him out for walks on a leash
- Yell at him and kick him in public -
"You're so stupid!" *kick* "I don't respect you!" *shove*
- Dress up like a sheik and ride on its back in a dignified manner
- Lead him into homes or places of business then run and hide
- Put him on an elevator by himself and send him to different floors - haha that would freak people out
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Classic books get a new look
Friday, April 28, 2006
Ren & Stimpy - The Lost Episodes
Fan of Ren & Stimpy? The new Lost Episodes dvd is set for realease on July 18th 2006. John K himself posted a handful of previews on his blog all kinds of stuff. Check them out, they're insane.
Technorati Tags: johnk, renandstimpy, dvd, stuff,ichiban1420
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I know why the caged bird sings.
So this morning I woke up to the sound of fluttering and crashing. I opened my eyes and guess what, there's a goddamn bird trapped in my room!
First response: "What the fuck is that??"
Second response: Promptly hide under a blanket
Third response: "Wait, how the hell...?"
My windows were closed and the door was locked, this bird must have found its way in through a crawl space or something. After standing up and dodging my panic-stricken guest for a minute, I finally got it to fly out the window. So anyway here's my idea: Alarm clocks that release birds into your room. I dare you to sleep through that.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
"We've Got Bush!"
- "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
— Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
- "First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
— Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003
- "I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'"
— Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004
- "They could still be hidden, like the 50 tons of mustard gas on a turkey farm."
— on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, Washington, D.C. , April 13, 2004
- "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
— Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004
- "Wow! Brazil is big."
— after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005
- "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001
- "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a — you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities."
—Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
- "I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome."
— defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News interview, Dec. 12, 2005
- "We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad." — Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003
- "I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances."
— Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003
- "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
— Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
- "They misunderestimated me."
— Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
- "It's about past seven in the evening here so we're actually in different time lines."
— congratulating newly elected Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Washington, D.C., Jan. 2001
- "Arbolist … Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees."
— as quoted in USA Today, Aug. 21, 2001
- "There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."
— May 11, 2001
- "Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious — I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well."
— June 4, 2001
- "I'm sure you can imagine it's an unimaginable honor to live here."
— addressing agricultural leaders at the White House, June 18, 2001
- "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
— at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001
- "Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement — retiring — in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring."
— Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003
- "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."
— Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003
- "Keep good relations with the Greecians."
— as quoted in The Economist, April 9, 1999
- "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."
— to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his job performance, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
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